The Politics of Family
The Fifth Day of Christmas
Tuesday, December 29, 2020
Matthew 12:46-50
“Jesus of Nazareth,” observes Dale Martin, “was not a family man.”
With such a “focus on the family” in American churches over the past century, this
statement might surprise or even offend.
But scripture is clear, says Martin, that Jesus “rejected marriage and family ties and taught
his disciples to do the same.”
We see this in today’s gospel reading:
Jesus replied, “Who is my mother? Who are my brothers?”
He stretched out his hand toward his disciples and said, “Look, here are my
mother and my brothers. Whoever does the will of my father in heaven is my
brother and sister and mother.”
As Martin observes, “Jesus refused to identify with his traditional family and instead
substituted for it the eschatological community that shared his vision of a new, divinely
constituted family.”
This is not an isolated incident either. As Stanley Hauerwas notes, “Jesus has already
challenged loyalty to family through the calling of the disciples, his refusal to let the one
desiring to be a disciple return to bury his father, and his prediction that in the coming
persecutions brother will deny brother and fathers will rise up against their children and
children will put their parents to death.”
And so: “If there was any doubt…,his identification of his true family as the disciples
makes clear that his challenge to the family is radical.”
It’s not just Jesus. “Contrary to most contemporary opinion,” Martin argues, “there are
many more resources in Christian Scripture and tradition to criticize the modern family
than to promote it.”
And that’s why Martin says that contemporary American Christianity is in a state of
“idolatry.”
Let that sink in for a minute.
American churches have made an idol out of “traditional family values.” Nevermind that
this “traditional” family didn’t even exist until the 1950s.
The result: An increasing number of people don’t feel like they “fit” at church. According
to Pew, only half of American adults are married, down 9 percentage points since 2000,
and down from the 72% peak in 1960. Meanwhile, divorce rates are up, Americans are
staying single longer, and the number of unmarried partners living together has risen
sharply.
Is there any wonder that these groups have found church, with its increasing “focus on the
family,” largely irrelevant.
It’s not just some accident of history, by the way, that Jesus never married. He would have
been expected to marry and have children. But as Martin explains: “The household was part
of the world order he was challenging.”
And so, for the church, family is no longer defined biologically. Likewise, the religious
community is no longer an extension of the family or tribal unit.
Rather, the church is now family, a family of strangers transformed and joined together into
one body, for a common purpose, where Hauerwas says “we are all called to be parents,
brothers, and sisters to and for one another.”
This is a huge shift.
And it’s political. Let’s call it the politics of family.
Remember, at its core, politics is simply a group of people figuring out how to live together.
And living as family is a radical way to live together.
Even before COVID-19, America was experiencing what former Surgeon General Vivek Murthy
calls a “loneliness epidemic.” According to Kaiser, over one-third of adults over 45, and nearly
half of adults over 60, say they always or often feel lonely, posing a health risk similar to
smoking 15 cigarettes per day. And so the family found in church can be a protective health
factor.
Also, many of us in recent years have lost jobs or otherwise experienced financial hardship.
And we’ve received meals, Kroger gift cards, help with bills, and more. Lest we take this for
granted, know that this is not normal. Not in a dog-eat-dog world of competition and scarcity.
And this politics of family reveals what true family is about. It’s not about what you can contribute.
It’s not about productivity. This can sometimes be hard to see; I learned it from children, as well
as persons with disabilities, in church.
Contrary to the message our culture hammers home daily, we don’t give our lives meaning.
Rather, as Hauerwas argues, “our lives are located in God’s narrative.” And the politics of
family is living together within that narrative.